The Rules

The Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right is a best-selling 1995 book co-authored by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider.

The book's basic theme is that, in order to attract and marry the man of her dreams, a woman should play hard to get. The authors promise happy relationships and happy marriages to the readers who follow their 35 specific rules. A woman who follows "the rules" is called a Rules Girl. The underlying philosophy is that women should not aggressively pursue men, but ought to get the men to pursue them.

The book generated much discussion upon its release. Some considered the book to be useful and motivational, while others dismissed it as outdated and antifeminist, or a how-to guide that teaches women to play games and manipulate men. Others pointed out that Fein and Schneider were not counselors and had no professional background, contrary to what one might expect of the authors of a self-help book. The reviewer Maureen Corrigan on National Public Radio's program Fresh Air sarcastically asked, "And what are the authors' credentials? Well, their credentials are that they're married!", however, it must be noted; many people are, and such does not constitute knowledge.

The follow up book The Rules for Marriage: Time-Tested Secrets for Making Your Marriage Work was published around the time Ellen Fein's marriage broke up.

The Rules

Here is a list of The Rules. While they seem mostly about "playing hard to get", they are also about training men, like for example rule 7. This seems more into changing his behaviour, than anything else. Book Review: The Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right Some of the Rules seem strongly culturally biased. For example, in Scandinavia, Germany and the Netherlands, women would generally feel that following rule 4 (not paying for the date) and 12 (expecting gifts) are putting her in debt with the man. Some women in these cultures might even consider following these rules tantamount to prostitution, and believe that costs for the first two or three dates should surely be split, so as not to create unwanted expectations. This stands in contrasts to other cultures as in North America and southern Europe, where women might expect the man to pay for her.

Index: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

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